Review: Doc Johnson Platinum Smooth Mini

I am definitely, 100% interested in reviewing sex toys, so I’ll be starting with the ones I already own. Logical.

Today, specifically, I will be starting with Doc Johnson’s Platinum Smooth Mini, which I bought from Seduction, in Toronto a short while back.

The reason I’m starting with this teeny tiny anal toy though, rather than any dildos or vibrators, etc., is because I know exactly where I stand with ass play. I’m just starting out with it, so the toys that I buy for ass play are going to follow a “growing in experience” type of chronology, which matches my blog at the moment—just starting out.

I bought Doc Johnson’s Platinum Smooth Mini in the small size (it also comes in medium), and pink in colour. I wanted something the size of a finger, because that’s the size I know I could both tolerate and enjoy, and this is the exact size I desired: 1″ in diameter, and about 3″ in insertable length.

It’s perfect for an absolute beginner, such as myself, and that’s all I could ask for. I think that’s all anyone could ask for from such a small toy. It’s small, discreet (I could possibly wear it out and about during my day in the future), and only needs a bit of lube for insertion.

It’s size is where it shines, because I was specifically looking for a really small toy and was happy to find something that fit my needs! However, the size is also where it will fall short. I know once I move on to bigger plugs, the Platinum Smooth Mini may very well be left in the dust.

I definitely love it, and I’ll still be using it for a while longer, and I won’t regret having bought it—being small, it’s pretty cost effective, and it will have served it’s purpose once I go to retire it.

Don’t Skip Leg Day

I promised that I would provide some in depth insight to some of my sexual escapades, so I might as well start with my go-to story. In fact, I’ve told this story so many times that my friends have dubbed the protagonist with a nickname: The Squatter.

Kostas* is out-of-my-league-gorgeous; he looks like goddamn male model. Totally not my type, but I am not going to let a man this beautiful pass me by.

So, the first night I spent with Kostas was really nice and easy. The house was hot, and a lot of refrigerated red wine went into my system. After a lot of talking and flirting (and sweating), the clothes came off and we had sex on the floor.

I wasn’t actually expecting to hear from him again—I assumed we were both one-and-done types for each other—but he texted me for another hook-up a few weeks later. Since I remembered having fun the first time, I was down for a repeat.

The house was cooler this time around, and the wine was warmer. I had less to drink, and we had even less conversation than the time before. We were ready to go, and weren’t bothering with setting a better mood. Clearly.

After the brief foreplay, Kostas had me lying on my back., and he was positioned between my legs after grabbing the condom. I was ready, but not ready enough for what came next.

He squats, like a crab, between my legs, and goes to town. I was immediately pulled out of the moment, and my mind drifted away from what was happening and was trying to comprehend the scenario. Is his penis bent downward? It has to be. How is he doing that? And why? Have I ever seen this in porn? I don’t think so. Where do my hands go? Then I put my hands on his knees.

When I’m telling this story to an audience, this is where I always get the interjections of gold:

  • “Did he skip leg day and try to work it in?”
  • A guy friend squatted, looked at me, and goes, “How???”
  • “Where does someone even learn to do that? Is that how he has to get off? Do you think he masturbates like that?”

Anyways, I think me putting my hands on his knees made it weird, because he turned me around after that.

While we were in doggy I was just really glad that I was facing away from him, because I was looking into the distance at this point, as if I was staring into a camera on The Office.

But then I looked behind myself AND HE WAS STILL SQUATTING. Amazing, really, the stamina and strength of this man. But really fucking weird, I’m not going to lie. And this comes with no judgement, whatsoever, let me be clear. Some things are just strange without judgement. This is one of those things.

I’m still looking for an explanation, or for someone with a similar experience and some insight.

*Name has been changed.

Sex and Storytelling (On the Internet)

Why would I want to write about sex on the Internet?

Let me start by tackling the first part of the question: Why would I want to write about sex?

For me, sex and storytelling go hand-in-hand. I don’t know why. Maybe a psychologist would have a heyday picking apart my mind, trying to figure that out, but the fact is that it’s a fact; I like sharing my sex stories.

It was only 24 hours after my first sexual act that I recounted the whole thing to a couple of close friends while we sat in a hot tub. And that became a pattern: I would gain a new sexual experience, I turned it into a story, and I would tell someone who was willing to listen.

I’m also a bit of an optimist when it comes to sex. First of all, I try to avoid boring sex, which does fall upon my own shoulders to keep things interesting at times. I’m still working on that, trying to say or do more interesting things in the event of boring sex. Overall, I like to keep my sex worthy of repeating, either physically with the same partner again, or at the very least, repeating it in story form.

Secondly, though, where the optimism truly kicks in, is that I tend to go into my sexual encounters with the thought: “At least if the sex isn’t amazing, it’ll probably make a good story”, and generally I’m promised either mind-blowing sex, or a great story that I can take to my friends.

Also, if I’m being honest with you, the truly amazing sex doesn’t get many chances at a story revival—I like keeping that shit to myself; nice little sexy secrets. However, great sex tactics get discovered during great sex (and masturbation), and I definitely do not keep those secret. I love dishing out my sex science and sex tips!

So this whole blogging endeavor is definitely not just me sharing my hilariously embarrassing stories (but that will happen). That’s simply the start of how I came to enjoy discussing sex-related topics, and it’s a pretty big part of who I am.

Typically, I only talk about sex with friends, in spaces away from people who aren’t welcome to these conversations, so it creates a getaway from society a bit—where sex can be discussed uncensored, and without judgement. Sharing sex stories can open people up for honesty. It can help us all feel less isolated in our experiences, thoughts, and preferences. Some of my stories have morals, even. Not to mention some stories just elicit laughter and sometimes that’s really what we all need. What’s better than all of that?

So why am I bringing this part of my life to the Internet?

Well, because I feel like it, honestly.

Aside from sharing my stories about penises and masturbation at house parties, I do actually write about my sexcapades as well. Nothing fancy, just personal journal entries and creative non-fiction (and really long text messages, if you want to include those). I just thought it was time for a bigger audience than my personal circle.

More than that, though, are the many conversations happening online and in the world surrounding various sex topics, and I want to be included.

In university, I hardly ever speak in class—I’m super shy. I feel that my opinions and thoughts are never worthy, and my questions aren’t good enough. But recently I took one single class about sex, and I spoke more during those lectures than I have in all my other classes combined. Sex is clearly a topic I’m passionate about.

And there’s so much to it, too. It’s not just sex! It’s everything there is to do with sex: sex toys, literature, film, masturbation, different communities, porn, etc.. There are so many conversations happening, and it’s not a place where I want to stay sitting in my room, wielding a dildo, and watching passively. I’m going to grab my dildo, and join in on the fun.

So here I stand, with my sex blog, and I’m super stoked.